Two weeks ago, I was looking everywhere I could for an invite to Google+. I wasn’t sure why exactly, but I knew that if there was this much buzz around a new site then I had to be on it as soon as I could. I finally got in and started dragging people to circles, searching out writers I like, and inviting others to join. Those first few days were exciting.
And then nothing. Few people I actually knew joined, and even fewer were active on the site. In fact, I think the number of my posts double the total output of everyone in my friends circle. Despite the advantages that it offered, it was clear few people were willing to make the effort to transfer their social experience from Facebook to Google+. And it was a significant amount of work. I spent a few hours looking out emails on Facebook, sending invitation, transferring my pictures over, and trying to make a profile as complete as the one I have on Facebook. Once I realized few people were embracing it, I wondered why had I spent the time I did. It was only yesterday that I really figured out why I had done it: I wanted to redefine myself and make known to my friends my new life. This new social network made it feel like I could create online this new me without making drastic changes to the way things had been (my profile on Facebook). But it didn’t happen.
As many know by now, I am a married man. And have been for some time. Last July, I and my wife eloped (I know... but hey it was fun). She had two daughters, currently one and four years old, from a previous marriage, and I knew that I was making one hell of a commitment. Because we got married after such a short dating period, we had a rough start. But we both stayed committed and have made an amazing family life for ourselves. I regret nothing about those decisions. Except for one part, not telling anybody. It was a month before even my parents knew. A few friends have only found out recently. The longer I didn’t tell anyone the harder it got. And then in November, we found out that we were going to have a baby. A boy it turns out.
When I found out that we were going to have a baby, I should have told everybody. But I didn’t. And it got that much harder. But the baby is coming August 19 and it would be nearly impossible to keep everything a secret, without totally disengaging from my friends. Which unfortunately I have come close to over the past year.
It’s reasonable to wonder what Google+ has to do with any of this, but that was the miraculous plan I came up with to let people know about my being married without having to do any of the work. I created a Google+ account, listed myself as married and started inviting. My plan was that people would visit my account, maybe or maybe not see my married status, and sooner or later everyone would know that I was married. But then no one joined the Google+ party. Sure a few people here and there, but not enough to spread the word and get people to know. My newly defined self as a married man went unnoticed.
So I went to Facebook and changed my relationship status to married. I immediately deleted the alert that went out to people, however, because I didn’t want to *show* everybody it, I just wanted it to be stumbled across, gradually.
But here I am a while later, and it doesn’t feel like enough. And it sure as hell shouldn’t. Accidentally stumbling across that is no way to for people that I’ve known for years to find out that I am married. Even this blog post is way too impersonal. But it’s the best way to tell everybody and I hope that I haven’t alienated some of my close friends. I owe many of you a phone call and some time to hang out this summer.
Mainly I felt the pressure to write this because I want my friends to be a part of my life again. A part of my new life where I’m married with kids. And my wife’s name is Jessica Ognibene. You can find her on Facebook or Google+. She’s a very kind, beautiful, and amazing woman who I feel incredibly lucky to be with. Her daughters, Ava and Alyssa, are some of the cutest kids I’ve ever met. I hope most of my friends get to meet these people who are now such an important part of my life. And I hope my friends get to meet my son, Ryan or Isaac or Timothy or whatever his name ends up being.
And then nothing. Few people I actually knew joined, and even fewer were active on the site. In fact, I think the number of my posts double the total output of everyone in my friends circle. Despite the advantages that it offered, it was clear few people were willing to make the effort to transfer their social experience from Facebook to Google+. And it was a significant amount of work. I spent a few hours looking out emails on Facebook, sending invitation, transferring my pictures over, and trying to make a profile as complete as the one I have on Facebook. Once I realized few people were embracing it, I wondered why had I spent the time I did. It was only yesterday that I really figured out why I had done it: I wanted to redefine myself and make known to my friends my new life. This new social network made it feel like I could create online this new me without making drastic changes to the way things had been (my profile on Facebook). But it didn’t happen.
As many know by now, I am a married man. And have been for some time. Last July, I and my wife eloped (I know... but hey it was fun). She had two daughters, currently one and four years old, from a previous marriage, and I knew that I was making one hell of a commitment. Because we got married after such a short dating period, we had a rough start. But we both stayed committed and have made an amazing family life for ourselves. I regret nothing about those decisions. Except for one part, not telling anybody. It was a month before even my parents knew. A few friends have only found out recently. The longer I didn’t tell anyone the harder it got. And then in November, we found out that we were going to have a baby. A boy it turns out.
When I found out that we were going to have a baby, I should have told everybody. But I didn’t. And it got that much harder. But the baby is coming August 19 and it would be nearly impossible to keep everything a secret, without totally disengaging from my friends. Which unfortunately I have come close to over the past year.
It’s reasonable to wonder what Google+ has to do with any of this, but that was the miraculous plan I came up with to let people know about my being married without having to do any of the work. I created a Google+ account, listed myself as married and started inviting. My plan was that people would visit my account, maybe or maybe not see my married status, and sooner or later everyone would know that I was married. But then no one joined the Google+ party. Sure a few people here and there, but not enough to spread the word and get people to know. My newly defined self as a married man went unnoticed.
So I went to Facebook and changed my relationship status to married. I immediately deleted the alert that went out to people, however, because I didn’t want to *show* everybody it, I just wanted it to be stumbled across, gradually.
But here I am a while later, and it doesn’t feel like enough. And it sure as hell shouldn’t. Accidentally stumbling across that is no way to for people that I’ve known for years to find out that I am married. Even this blog post is way too impersonal. But it’s the best way to tell everybody and I hope that I haven’t alienated some of my close friends. I owe many of you a phone call and some time to hang out this summer.
Mainly I felt the pressure to write this because I want my friends to be a part of my life again. A part of my new life where I’m married with kids. And my wife’s name is Jessica Ognibene. You can find her on Facebook or Google+. She’s a very kind, beautiful, and amazing woman who I feel incredibly lucky to be with. Her daughters, Ava and Alyssa, are some of the cutest kids I’ve ever met. I hope most of my friends get to meet these people who are now such an important part of my life. And I hope my friends get to meet my son, Ryan or Isaac or Timothy or whatever his name ends up being.
